Sue Read online

  A light came on and the door flew open. Her dad stood in the doorway in his pajamas, hair askew. Her mother stared with wide eyes from beside the bed, one hand still on the lamp.

  “What’s wrong? Sue?” Frank reached down and helped his daughter to her feet.

  “I heard noises. Somebody’s trying to break in!” Sue sobbed.

  “Get over there by your mother and wait while I check it out.” He pushed her gently toward the bed. “Where did you hear it?”

  “The window behind the sofa.”

  “Frank, should I call the police?” Linda cried, gathering Sue into her arms.

  “Not yet. I’ll yell if I see anyone.”

  Frank was back within minutes. He stared down at his frightened wife and panicked daughter. “It’s a tree branch. That’s all. Wind’s blowing it against the window.”

  “Are you sure?” Sue trembled and Linda stroked her hair.

  “Positive. There’s no one out there, honey.” Frank ran a hand through his hair, but it sprang back up, giving him a comical appearance that Sue found sad rather than funny.

  “I’ll make some hot cocoa,” Linda said, releasing Sue. “We’ll talk for a little bit, get calmed down, and then we can go back to sleep.”

  They moved to the front room and Frank pulled his coat on over his pajamas. He slipped into his boots by the door. “I’m going to go break off that branch.”

  Within the hour, Frank had left for work and she and her mom were settled in once more. Sue wept silently into her pillow and listened to the night sounds in the house. Familiar sounds mostly, but each fraught with sinister potential.

  She hadn’t wanted to go through with the recommended counseling, but she knew now that she must. It would set her parents’ mind at ease, though she expected it would do nothing for her. She wasn’t about to tell some stranger about her time with Zeke, her private feelings. But she’d put in an appearance, go through the motions. She owed it to her folks after the hell she’d put them through. Eventually she fell into a restless sleep.

  The next morning, in an effort to return things to normal, Sue called her friend, Joyce. She wanted to let her know she was home and safe; that things didn’t work out and Zeke just wasn’t who she thought he was.

  Joyce was thrilled to hear from her, but wanted details Sue wasn’t willing to give. She resisted Joyce’s curiosity, kept changing the subject, and finally made an excuse to hang up. She was disappointed in the reaction she’d received. Maybe Zeke was right; Joyce never really was much of a friend.

  Chapter 4

  Sue decided to abandon the couch and returned to her bedroom the weekend after the incident with the branch. Looking around she saw a child’s room, something she no longer was. Leaning out the door, she shouted, “Mom!”

  A crash sounded from downstairs and Sue’s heart rate kicked into high. She edged toward the stairway and peered down. Her mom was rushing headlong toward the stairs.

  “What’s wrong?” Sue asked, eyes darting in every direction.

  “What?” Her mom stopped with one foot on the bottom step. “You yelled. What happened?”

  “What was that crash?”

  “I dropped an empty pot.” She held her chest as her eyes flew over her daughter looking for injuries. “What’s wrong? Why did you scream?”

  Heart rate slowing, Sue dropped down, sitting on the top stair. “Oh my god.” Suddenly she was giggling.

  “Susie?” Her mom rushed up the stairs. “What is it, honey?”

  “Oh, Mom.” Sue wiped the tears that were streaming from her eyes. “I only wanted to talk about redecorating my room. Holy cow. You scared me to death.” Her laughter finally faded and her mom looked relieved.

  “Redecorate?”

  “My room.” Sue nodded.

  “That’s all?” She bent and kissed her daughter’s forehead, saying, “Oh, Sue, baby. We are really a pair, aren’t we?”

  “I’d have to say yes.”

  “Okay.” Her mom waved a hand in front of her face, as if to dispel the fear she’d felt. “Show me what you have in mind.”

  She followed her daughter into her room and Sue spread out her arms. “This is a little girl’s room.”

  He mother started to disagree and then realized what Sue meant. She looked at the room again. “You’re right. What do you have in mind?”

  Sue explained her ideas and then said, “I want to get started today, if possible.”

  While her mom finished the housework, Sue spent a couple of hours pulling mementos from the bulletin board, posters from the walls, and knickknacks from drawers. Not wanting to throw it all out, she sorted some for the trash, some to keep. Next she bagged her stuffed animals to give to charity. All but one teddy bear, which she’d had forever and couldn’t bring herself to part with.

  Sue pulled down a large plastic tub that resided on the top shelf of her closet. She’d add the pile of things she decided to keep to this container. She fingered through the items one more time before placing each inside. She flipped through an old Christmas program, read a birthday card from her grandma, and slipped three fingers into a friendship bracelet she’d made but never given away. With a sigh, she packed them all away, snapped the lid onto the box, and slid the box home on its shelf. She doubted she would look through them again for a long time.

  Finally, her mom hollered up that she was ready.

  The two spent the afternoon shopping. Sue had decided to leave the walls and furniture white. She picked out a geometric-patterned bedspread in deep blues, purples, and black. Several abstract prints in subdued tones and two small lamps with dark blue shades were added to their selections. Sue perused a curtain display and rejected a dozen window treatments. Finally, she chose wide-slatted vertical blinds in deep blue and desktop accessories to match.

  “Hey, Mom, can we move the little desk into the guest room? I want to get a computer and I’ll need a table, too.”

  “That’s a good idea.”

  “Good. Let’s stop and get one on the way out.”

  “That’s fine, but how about a break first? Surely your feet hurt from all the walking; I know mine do. How is your side?”

  Sue thought about telling her mom to leave her be, but truth be told, her feet did hurt. “You’re right, my feet are bothering me. I’ll soak them later tonight. But my side doesn’t hurt too bad.” She smiled bravely. “How about we go to the food court and get something to drink? We can rest before finishing up the shopping.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” her mother agreed.

  They shared a baked pretzel with blueberries, drank their sodas, and discussed the redecorating project. “You know, once I have the computer home, I’d like to have the internet,” Sue said.

  “Your dad and I have talked about doing that anyway. This would be good time for us to bundle our phone and cable, too. Your dad will be thrilled, all those channels.”

  After a comfortable break, they made their way to a computer store. Here Sue bought a PC and a printer/copier/fax machine. She chose a dark walnut desk with multiple shelves to hold all the apparatus.

  Smiles flashed and laughter rang out as they entered the house. Sue’s dad was sitting on the sofa watching the news.

  “Well, well, well. What’s going on here? You two seem awfully happy.” He picked up the remote and hit the mute button.

  Sue’s mom grinned. “That’s because we just bought enough stuff to keep you busy for the weekend.”

  “Hunh?”

  “Come help carry in my new bedroom, Daddy.” Sue clapped her hands. She hadn’t realized this shopping trip would please her so much. “Do you think we can get my new desk together before supper?”

  “New desk? Don’t you already have one?”

  “Yes, but I bought a computer and desk to go along with it. Mom said we could get the internet.”

  “Internet?”

  “That’s right, Frank. We’re going to bundle the phone, cable, and internet. You’ll get a ton of new channels
.”

  “I can’t argue with that.” He looked at his wife and daughter with fondness, “Let me grab my toolbox.”

  Later, after the canopy top had been removed, the small white desk moved to the guest room and replaced with the newly assembled one, they ordered pizza and ate around the TV. Sue sat with her feet in hot water and Epsom salts. It felt wonderful. After massaging them with Vitamin E oil, Sue returned to her naked room and her depression settled back in. She already missed her stuff, even though the whole idea had been hers and she knew in the long run she’d be happier. Sue fell into a restless sleep only to awake in the morning to the sound of her dad toying with an electric screwdriver outside her closed bedroom door.

  “Up and at it, Susie. I have blinds to hang.”

  Sue struggled up. She rubbed her hands down her face and then gathered clothes and limped toward the bathroom. “It’s all yours,” she said over her shoulder. Her dad patted her on the back in passing and went to work.

  By mid afternoon the room had been transformed from a child’s room to an adult’s. Sue and her parents stood surveying their work.

  “Are you happy, baby?” her dad asked.

  Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked around. “Happy? Yes. I’m happy.” But she wasn’t. Not even close.

  Chapter 5

  A few days later, Sue sat at her computer and checked several more sites. The bell rang and she jumped, even though she was expecting the visitor. She peered through the window before opening the door. A man about her age stood on the porch. He wore a heavy coat, blue jeans, a stocking cap, and glasses that gave him a studious look. Melvin was here to escort her to her first appointment with the therapist recommended by her family doctor.

  Sue opened the door.

  “Hi.” He shifted nervously from one foot to the other. “I’m Melvin.”

  “I know,” Sue said coldly and gestured for him to enter. She turned around to get her coat.

  Melvin ignored the snub as he walked inside. He was tall and lanky. Light brown shaggy hair fell from beneath his cap and over his coat collar. “So, I’m supposed to go with you to an appointment. Do you want to take your car or mine?”

  She bristled at his nearness and took a step back. “Mine. Wait here.”

  “Mine’s already warmed up.”

  “I said, we’ll take mine.” Pulling on her gloves, she made a wide circle around him and ducked outside. I’ll be damned if I’ll let some man I hardly know drive me around again. I’m in control now. She started her car and scraped the snow from the windows. Turning back to the house, she found Melvin keeping a protective eye on her from the front porch. He backed into the house at her approach.

  Gently wiping her feet on the doormat to remove the snow, she reentered the house. Melvin stripped off his hat, static electricity causing his hair to stand on end. He looked ridiculous.

  “Might as well sit down. It’s going to take my car a few minutes to warm up.” Sue flung her coat on the chair and walked over to stand by the window.

  Melvin removed his coat and sat gingerly on the edge of the sofa. He wore a long-sleeved green t-shirt with a pair of squinty eyes printed in black on the front pocket.

  Sue pointed at the shirt, keeping her eyes trained on the pocket. “What’s that supposed to be?”

  Melvin looked down, as if he hadn’t seen the shirt before.

  What a buffoon. Sue pursed her lips in annoyance.

  “Oh, the eyes.” He smiled shyly. “Private eyes, you know. Because I work for a detective agency.” He trailed off uncertainly at her steely look. “It’s just...kind of a thing. That’s all. Supposed to be funny.”

  She remained silent.

  “I guess it’s not.” He shifted uncomfortably. “Well, anyway, do you think your car is warmed up enough?”

  “No. But let’s leave anyway. I want to get this over with.” She reached for her coat, sighed, and turned to face him. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude.” She rubbed her eyes. Four nights with little sleep had left them dry and tired. “Let’s just go, okay?”

  Melvin shrugged and grabbed his coat. They stepped outside and she locked the door behind them. Head down, she trudged toward her car. Melvin pulled on his stocking cap and shoved his arms in his coat sleeves as he hurried to catch up with her.

  They got into the vehicle and Sue rubbed her gloved hands in front of the heater vent. As she buckled up, she glared at Melvin. “Do you smoke?”

  “No, why?”

  “Because I don’t allow smoking in this car. So don’t light up.”

  “Well, okay. But, I wouldn’t. I don’t smoke.” He pulled the seatbelt over his lap and hooked it. He looked at her, his brown eyes searching her face. “So, can I say something?”

  Sue paused, her hand on the gearshift. “What?”

  “I get the feeling you don’t want me here.”

  “It doesn’t matter what I want; my folks want you here.” She put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway into the street. She avoided looking in his direction during the short ride to the doctor’s office.

  Sue signed in at the desk of the mental health center and sat down to wait. Melvin grabbed a magazine and dropped into the seat next to her. Sue glanced at the shared armrest and edged over to avoid contact with his elbow. Her heart beat an unpleasant rhythm in anticipation of the upcoming appointment.

  The receptionist called her name and Sue startled, looked around at the few other people waiting, and ducked her head as if embarrassed. No one paid attention to her as she followed the woman down the hallway to an open door. Tapping gently on the frame, the receptionist announced her arrival and motioned Sue to enter.

  Whatever Sue had expected a therapist’s office to be, this certainly wasn’t it. The walls were painted in loud colors and crowded with bold pop art paintings. The lighting was bright and the furniture desperately glam. A cone of incense glowed in a moon-shaped burner on a shelf, filling the air with its sickening sweet odor. Sue was immediately uncomfortable and her anxiety intensified when a young woman with long blonde hair rose from behind her glass-topped desk and came forward, hand outstretched. “Hello, Sue. I’m Candace Goldberg. You can call me Candy.”

  Sue paled, reminded of a woman by that name she and Zeke had met on their trip and later fantasized about. She took a few steps back. Wheeling around, she looked for the receptionist. But she had already gone. Facing the therapist once again, Sue drew in a shaky breath. “This isn’t going to work out,” she said, voice trembling. “I’m sorry.” Without giving the woman a chance to respond, Sue turned and fled back the way she’d come.

  Melvin looked up in surprise when Sue raced across the waiting room. She darted out the door and Melvin tossed his magazine on his seat as he hustled to follow her. When she reached her car, she unlocked the door, got in, and started the engine. She automatically put on her seatbelt, put the vehicle in reverse, and nearly jumped out of her skin when Melvin tapped on the window of the passenger door. Rolling her eyes at her oversight, Sue hit the button to unlock the door. “Sorry. I forgot you were with me.”

  Melvin was quiet as he folded his long frame into the seat and closed the door. “You forgot I was here?”

  “It’s nothing against you. I just needed to get out of there.” Sue backed out of the parking space and pulled out into the street.

  “It was a really short appointment.” Melvin tried to joke. “How did she make you mad so fast?”

  “I’m not mad. And I don’t want to talk about it.” Sue glanced in her rearview mirror before switching lanes. She brought a shaky hand to her forehead and took several deep breaths.

  “Okay. So, where are we going now?” Melvin squinted at the street.

  “My doctor. My regular one.”

  “Can I ask why?”

  “Because I want to know why he recommended that stupid therapist!”

  “What was wrong with her?”

  “I thought I said I don’t want to talk about it.” />
  Melvin sighed. “Well, what do you want to talk about?”

  “Nothing.”

  Sue slid a CD into the stereo and the soothing strains of New Age music filled the car.

  “That’s interesting music,” Melvin ventured.

  “No, it’s not,” Sue snapped. “And that’s why I like it. It’s bland. It doesn’t remind me of anything.”

  Neither she nor Melvin spoke again until she had reached the office of her general practitioner.

  “Wait here,” she told Melvin, turning off the music. “I’ll leave the keys so you can keep the heater running.”

  Inside, she insisted on speaking to the doctor immediately, her cheeks red with distress. The receptionist lifted the phone and had a quiet conversation. Almost at once her doctor’s nurse appeared and directed her to a small exam room. She asked why Sue needed to see Dr. Wan.

  Sue shook her head, sweat glistening on her forehead. “It’s personal.”

  “Personal in what way?” The nurse slipped a blood pressure cuff on Sue’s arm and inflated it until it was tight.

  “It’s just something I need to speak to my doctor about. Not to you.”

  There was a moment of silence during which the nurse recorded her findings and Sue fidgeted.

  “These are pretty high numbers.” The nurse turned to her patient, expecting a response. Sue grabbed the sides of her head, jumped from the table, and started pacing. With a concerned look in Sue’s direction, the nurse hurriedly left, shutting the door behind her.

  Within minutes, a harried Dr. Wan entered the room, wearing a puzzled look. “I was with another patient, Sue. What’s the emergency?”

  “I can’t see the therapist you sent me to, Dr. Wan.” Tears rolled unchecked down Sue’s cheeks.

  Dr. Wan pulled a tissue from a box on the counter and handed it to her. “Why not? I thought you’d hit it off with her. She’s young and enjoys working with younger patients.”

  Sue ticked off her complaints on her fingers. “Number one, she’s too young and that’s a problem not a plus. She doesn’t look much older than me. And number two, her office isn’t relaxing. It’s garish. And it smells. I wasn’t comfortable there.”